Moving

Tomorrow we move to a new house. We are downsizing - its an interesting internal exercise to downsize when you were hoping that life was a continued upward spiral - of ever increasing width and expansion! Perhaps the American dream is not relevant here. We are moving from 5 bedrooms down to a house that has three and 'basement' bedroom [bagged by Miriam immediately], and we have taken two of those to use as offices, so kids beware - there is not much room in this cottage. It is a 1910 Craftsman built, corner lot, very little garden - gone are the views of our piece of river, the beach and never ending field, now untidily rutted by horses' hooves. In its place is a neat, beautifully landscaped escarpment-like front garden buffering us from the street below - the lot is raised, with a lovely stone wall guarding an edge of the lot and a sloping treed and bushy front piece sloping to the walkway. A large wrap around deck complements the face and one side of the house. The living and dining room are characteristically of paneled dark-stained wood, boxed ceilings in the traditional way. All quiet different from where we are now. Upstairs, removed of its dark stain, is white, airy and open.
This outer move has me struggling with an inner move - a change of state, of place, or recognition, acknowledgment, successes and failures, opportunities found and lost. A downsize perhaps, as we shape the next part of our lives. Or maybe just a recognition of our own state and the tasks ahead. The other day I had a profound inner experience when asked to receive - through surrender - my purpose [at the present moment]. I stood there in this place of stillness, only it felt as if I was of stone, a monolith, sphinx-like except I felt like I was a granite block, and then slowly my body was made to move as if the block of stone was coming alive and breaking free of old constraints. I realized at that moment, that I was being shown that my purpose - at an inner level - despite all the grand ideas and wishes which we try to put out into the outer world as Ad Humanitas, is to free myself and family from the material, fixed, rigid, fundamental pattern that we granite-like Scots emerged from and to bring this family line alive. The experience was humbling, bewildering and yet liberating as my purpose-driven life [to coin a phrase] was brought down to the nitty gritty - that the life of my soul is more important than the life in the outer world - and that my real inner job, at this present moment, is to recognize that this journey of liberation still has a way to go.
So downsizing - never an easy choice, liberates us in many ways - releases funds for us to invest [what funds!], it provides the opportunity to let go of old things we have kept [not as much room], brings us into community [back from the 'sticks' or countryside] involves us in other people's lives due to their and our proximity, and changes our open, wooded and green space into one which is more resonant for most others - the life of a city.
We'll add to this blog as the next few days go by, providing a glimpse of a family life in transition, and the chance to change old patterns and reinvent new creative possibilities.
Insha'allah

Solihin